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Reading up on dating tips for shy guys can certainly help you make a good impression on your next date. And don’t forget that these dating tips are not just for the shy person going out for the first time. They can help you even if you’re experienced in dating, because it’s easy to forget the basics.
A good tip to remember is not to try to go overboard. She’s not going to expect you to take her to a restaurant that’s going to cost you $100 on your first date. And if she does expect that, you might be better off asking someone else out on a date.
She also shouldn’t expect you to take her on a date that is overly complicated. Keeping it simple is best, especially for first date.
Go for things that are fun and unusual and that will be memorable for her. Go to one of those pizza parlors with the characters in the video games that are usually thought of as being places for little kids. Go to the zoo and buy her cotton candy.
Amusement parks and carnivals are great places for dates. Everybody likes to be a kid now and then. So going to a place like this and riding rides let you be silly for a while.
Don’t forget to play the bottle toss of the ring toss and try to win her prize. Winning your girl a stuffed animal is something that will be great on a date for years to come.
Don’t see an overly serious movie on your first date. Going to see a very heavy show about an historical figure might not be great for first date. But don’t feel you have to go and see the latest, greatest “date movie.”
Choose a movie that’s more neutral than that for a first date. Go see the latest cartoon movie that’s popular for kids and have a silly time. It can be fun to laugh at the things you used to like as a little kid and you may find the movie’s really great anyway.
Choosing fun and quirky things like this can let her see that you just want to have a good time. It can help set her at ease and make her less nervous, which will in turn make you less nervous, too.
If it’s clear to her that you just really want to enjoy yourself, that’s going to impress her. If she can tell you’re not out to try to impress her with an expensive date or trying to be someone you’re not, she’ll notice.
Don’t forget to pay her a compliment, too. It can be easy to forget, especially if you’re nervous. But find something that you like whether it’s her perfume, her clothes or her sense of humor and say something nice about it. She’ll be able to relax because she’ll be less worried about impressing you.
Don’t forget these dating tips for shy guys next time you’re ready to ask someone out.
With what you’ve learned with me so far, you WILL be able to get numbers from women. Lots of them. Now I’m not saying you’ll get the info for every lady that turns your head – plenty of women will be unavailable for various reasons. Some have boyfriends, some are taking a break, some are just in the wrong mood – whatever, it doesn’t matter. You know enough to not let the unavailable women get you down, affect your confidence, or change your playfulness. We’re not worried about them.
And now that you can get the numbers of TONS of women, my job is done, right?
Wrong. This is just the FIRST STEP and you’ve got to remember that. Just because you’ve got a woman interested – and even if you keep your relaxed confidence going – there are plenty of places to stumble.
The Instant Date
Like what? This may surprise you, but you SHOULDN’T take women on dates. That might sound strange, so I’ll phrase it another way.
If you take a woman to dinner and a movie, you’re asking to be strung along like a knitting club’s quilt. You set yourself up for all sorts of mistakes – which I’ll talk about in a second – and you’re just begging for uncomfortable silences and boring conversation.
Hey, you can make it work. You just make yourself work a LOT harder.
So what should you do instead? Well, best-case scenario you create an instant date. You go from meeting to GOING somewhere, TOGETHER. This can mean moving from the bookstore to a coffee shop, one club to another – or often, to begin, just LEADING a woman from one part of a bar to another.
Create a World
That’s a POWERFUL move. Say you want to tell her something (and have something to tell her). Maybe it can be about something you want to show her at your house, like an album or a book (done subtly, this is a great way to lead to a house call). Take her hand and LEAD her to a more secluded spot.
Don’t put your hands all over her – you look desperate and pervy. But once you’ve led her somewhere, you’ve shifted the world a little bit – you are in it TOGETHER. Maintain strong eye contact. Speak in a quieter, confidential voice (the kind she wants to lean in to hear).
Set yourself up that way, and it should be much easier to get yourself moving to another spot right off the bat. The important thing is that you concentrate not on getting a woman to bed, but on moving to the next step.
Once you’ve got a connection, the next step is changing settings so you reaffirm and strengthen that connection.
This is good in so many ways. It gives you a chance to get to know the girl quickly – which is impressive when it happens quickly, plus it let’s you figure out if the lady is worth your time before you’ve invested much.
It feels natural – something even the best dates fail at.
It’s low-pressure fun – spontaneous, without expectations or commitments.
It’s just great. Not to mention it allows YOU to set the pace you proceed at.
Now, this isn’t something you ALWAYS do. If a girl is out with her friends you don’t want to impose – in fact, for that reason you should always set a time limit when you’ve started talking with a woman. “I have to get back to my friends in a few minutes, but before that…” or “I have to leave soon, but first…”
If the lady you like seems ready to follow, then you can say “I’m going to xxx, it’s a good spot, you should come. SOMEONE needs to teach you what this city has to offer.” (By the way, this is a KILLER line if you’re not a local.)
Oftentimes the woman won’t be able to join you for whatever reason – could be she’s got plans already, maybe she doesn’t want her girlfriends gossiping, she might just be shy. That’s ok. You can still meet her – but here’s how you do it.
Don’t Be Ordinary
Don’t ask her to dinner. If possible, don’t even ask her in advance. A spontaneous meeting at a coffee shop or going shopping in an eclectic neighborhood with built-in conversation is great.
Your call should sound something like this: “What are you doing right now? I’m about to hit Java Joe’s, you should come and entertain me.” “I’m shopping for some clothes, and I’d like a woman’s opinion. What are you doing now?”
Make sure you’re going somewhere fun. The kind of place with strange knick-knacks all around so you’re conversation can naturally flow from your surroundings. Why do extra work when you can let the atmosphere help you?
Can’t Buy Me Love
THIS is key, and I’ll talk about it again and again. DON’T PAY. Especially with a woman you’ve just met. Paying says all the wrong things.
Women will read it different ways; here’s a few.
It says “I’m not interesting, so I’m bribing you to spend time with me.”
It says “I want to prove I’m good mate material by showing off my financial success.”
Or the corollary: “I’m insecure, so like a man with a small penis and a hot sports car, I’m trying to buy myself some confidence.”
Worse still: “I don’t really know you, but I think you’re hot so I’m going to try and buy my way into your jeans.”
Equally cringe-worthy: “I just paid for you. Now, what are you going to do for ME?”
Oh, let’s not forget the classic: “I’m used to paying for women so they’ll keep me company. Feel free to take advantage of that and bleed me for all I can handle, regardless of whether you like me or not.”
And of course, with a certain sensitive sect of ladies, you’re saying “I’m a sexist pig. Now cook bitch.”
In fact, can you say anything good by paying? Well, you could be saying “I’m a nice, generous man.” Great. We all know by now how sexy that is.
No Early Meals!
This is one of the biggest reasons to avoid the dinner date, at least to begin. In addition to creating an awkward social setting with someone you barely know, you basically force all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts about the money involved.
Coffee? Who cares about a coupla bucks?
Shopping? You’re not going to buy her something, are you? That smells of bribery worse than dinner, and you’ll just make her uneasy.
Avoid putting yourself in situations where the issue of payment comes up, and you’ll avoid this whole can of worms.